My name is Mark

I was 50 years of age when I first started to create and write this website about me

I am now 54 and still writing the first page

Even without getting the first page totally completed I have had to accept abuse

This website deals with a disorder that used to be known as "Shell Shock", and the major health problems that can result from it.

So what exactly is "Shell Shock"?

I searched for the simplest of explanations for "Shell Shock" and would like to share with you the first few lines from the " Wikipedia " definition:

Shell shock is term coined to describe the reaction of some soldiers in World War I to the trauma of battle. It is reaction to the intensity of the bombardment and fighting that produced a helplessness appearing variously as panic and being scared, or flight, an inability to reason, sleep, walk or talk.[1] During the War, the concept of shell shock was ill-defined. Cases of 'shell shock' could be interpreted as either a physical or psychological injury, or simply as a lack of moral fibre. While the term shell shock is no longer used in either medical or military discourse, it has entered into popular imagination and memory, and is often identified as the signature injury of the War.

Way back last century it was called "Shell Shock" and it was something that only soldiers from the battlefronts right up until the end of the Vietnam War suffered from, but they were wrong, very wrong.

It is now better understood and has had it's name changed. The term "Shell Shock" has disappeared almost completely and been replaced with perhaps a better name being PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and guess what, you can suffer from it without ever having seen a battlefront, at least not a wartime battlefront.

This website is about my life and was suggested by my psychologist, Travis Gee, as a way of helping me to better understand myself, and in turn to help others battling this demanding and demeaning disorder.

By reading this site both you and I will hopefully learn what has caused what feels to me to be a lifelong battle with PTSD, and all the associated symptoms and by products.

As we get deeper into this site I will try to pull no punches, and be as frank and as honest as is possible, although at times in the past in discussions with my psychologist I have found that it can be hard to actually find the words needed to fully describe certain events. I also intend to keep names dates, times and places as accurate as is possible (please remember some of the events in my life, as my age should reflect, happened over 50 years ago)

I will try to let you into my mind as best as I can with regard to depression, anxiety, fear, suicidal thoughts and attempts, and as best as I can my understanding of such. This, for me is no easy task, so please forgive me if you are waiting for the next installment/page of this site and it takes a while to turn up.



Humour is my way of coping and hiding all my pain from others


Enter my life here


If you are, or anyone that you know is suffering from

PTSD, Depression, Anxiety or any associated Mental Illness

Please be aware that in Australia and most countries world wide there is help available 24/7/365.

Before you atempt that final step, in Australia, please call one of the numbers below, or, failing that call

Triple 0 (000)

And just talk to someone before you remove all your choices

Please note the numbers below, and Triple 0 are for Australia only, for elsewhere please refer to either your local directory assistance or Police/Medical for urgent assistance


24/7 Crisis Line 13 11 14


If a life is in immediate danger call 000

Beyond Blue Support Line 1300 22 4636

If a life is in immediate danger call 000


The original material contained within this website is all subject to International Copyright © Laws and as such may not be reproduced without permission
Any materials/data included from other sources will be marked as such and the sources disclosed
Copyright © 2012 - 2016, Mark Kuzma